I think I write the best first thing in the morning...fully rested having my coffee and thinking clearly...before anything else creeps in and affects me.
Today I had a moment after something happened...or rather didn't happen between me and H. He took S somewhere and didn't contact me at all around it. And I thought gosh how much of my time and life was spent the past few months analyzing every single bit of his actions and our interactions. A few weeks ago I was done with it because I was so upset and angry at him invading all my thoughts. No I'm just done with it because it gets me no where. And anytime my focus is on him, it's not on me and my growth and happiness.
Tomorrow he and his GF are going to an event with his family, probably his sister and her BF. it's something I love and always loved the idea of going with his family but I am remembering how the times we did....he didn't enjoy himself, etc.
I have a lot going on in my life almost too much to spend my time thinking about the sitch! I don't know how much I'll be around over the next few weeks but I'm gonna try.
