Now that I have two jobs I am putting in almost 80 hours a week, exhausted! In regards to my 2nd job, I am going to need to talk to my boss today about my schedule. 40 hours a week for my 2nd job is just too much. It slows my progress on GAL and it’s taking away the time I have to spend with my kids. I just need to work on balancing it out.
Not much has changed with my sitch. It’s interesting when I drop off the kids, my W almost feels like a stranger now. It’s amazing, I’ve spent over 14 years with this woman and to have her feel like a stranger is so odd. We don’t talk about much. A lot of the time I don’t feel like talking about much with her. I also don’t ask her very many questions, I guess that’s ok. I actually get a little nervous when I am around her, hopefully it doesn’t show. I try and look good, smile and make the impression that everything is good.
I really need to get away from my negative thinking. My mind wanders the most when it’s my weekend to have the kids. I need to stop because it’s not productive. It might be natural for me to wonder, I just can’t help it. As I mentioned earlier, there’s a good chance she’s been with OM but that’s out of my control. I need to accept it, deal with it and move on. Easier said than done.
My W wants to sit down and talk with me about finances sometime this week. She’s going to send me an email. I mentioned that I have a very busy week and I asked her to send me a couple different times for us to meet so I can make sure it works with my schedule. I also need to work on finding a IC this week.
I miss my W soooo much. I probably wouldn’t be on this board unless I cared. I also need to realize we were in a toxic marriage. The interesting thing is I would probably take her back in a heartbeat even though it was not a healthy M, that’s probably not right. Obviously the ultimate goal would be to reconcile and have a healthy, secure and loving marriage.
Let’s see, my W and I separated, I’ve been a financial train wreck and my dad passed away, all this year! I’ve never been tested this much in my whole life. With that said, I am actually proud of myself in a way. I’ve been really down however I’ve remained resilient. I will be fine and I know I can make it!
Me(M):38 W:43 Together: 14 Married: 11 D:4 S:8 W wanted separation 5/5/12 Stopped living together 5/5/12 Currently DB’ing
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”. Thomas Jefferson
