what came to mind - i think i'm practicing my new found skills virtually!!!! (GRIN!!)
time to take them into the real world!!!
my s's teacher AND the assistant teacher are practically gawking at me!! they are so delighted to see me every afternoon when i go in to pick s up - they actually come over and sort of keep me there, going on about this and that. i'm thoroughly enjoying it - for the first time in my life!! the old me would have got really uneasy and rushed out of there.
i don't flirt but i am warm and friendly, just as i am to everyone else!!
old zig - warm and friendly were NOT words that came to mind, EVER!!
my point being - that when one comes to love oneself - really love oneself - the whole world comes out to love you back. then the "little" things don't matter all that much any longer.
oh sigh - wish i'd known that a long long time ago - would have saved me a lot of grief.(not to mention for the people around me)
i don't know if i am indeed a rare bird or not, starsky, but the image of one of Attenboroughs' "Birds of Paradise" came to mind.
my favorite is that black one - when he dances, that big crazy vibrant blue comes out on his chest. i'm that big vibrant blue now.
of course when i'm not dancing, i'm back in the black - but i'm dancing more and more........and more, everyday
cheers zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
what came to mind - i think i'm practicing my new found skills virtually!!!! (GRIN!!)
time to take them into the real world!!!
my s's teacher AND the assistant teacher are practically gawking at me!! they are so delighted to see me every afternoon when i go in to pick s up - they actually come over and sort of keep me there, going on about this and that. i'm thoroughly enjoying it - for the first time in my life!! the old me would have got really uneasy and rushed out of there.
i don't flirt but i am warm and friendly, just as i am to everyone else!!
You got your "mojo" working, Zig. That's good!!!
There used to be a poster around here by the name of SmileysPerson (or SmileyPerson -- not sure of the spelling). He was an INCREDIBLE writer, and just a really interesting guy, and he wrote a lot about the whole "mojo" thing. I have yet to see someone successfully DB without getting their mojo back!
Wow. I'm stunned that this is the advice from the coaches.
I was too in the beginning. I will admit I wasn't to thrilled to try it. But I will say, it has made me feel more like my old self, and my situtation has changed some because of it I think. Do I think this alone will lead to a R? Of course not, but it helped me out of my own funk...and boy did I need that!
I think people have to try what works. And not just what might work to save their marriage. As we all know, it's really about what works to save yourself. This won't work for everyone, but for some it will put them on that path.
My stbx is not in a known or open A (probable EA) and my coach suggested "using him for my own pleasure" and telling him it was no big deal, and to be more playful in interactions. (this was before he filed for D). So, another tick for that line of advice here.
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I actually got the same advice as you and Brit from Cheryl.
And your husband was still known to be in an active affair??
Sorry, I'm not familiar with your sitch, RoRo.
Yes.
Wow. I'm stunned that this is the advice from the coaches.
