hi - I am brand new to db - i don't even know if you see this- i don't know how these forums work- but i also wonder about your "boundaries" and what they were. i feel everything you said. i do not know EXACTLY how long my h mlc going on- maybe years - he was "different" - i didn't know it was this huge or serious. I thought he was working thru something of his own- and we were (silly me) okay at the end of the day. i was soooo sure we'd grow old together- now i have not the least idea. found out 1 year ago about affair - secretary from ancient days- don't even know what if he has cheated for 34 years or just last few. i'm thinking i've "felt" the last 4 years something totally wrong. anyway- i am doing my best to employ db things you did- it's good to know other people out there and they survive. didn't think i would for awhile- like maybe might spontaneously just die of grief. we've been together 34 years- not married tho- i want to fight for this rather than lay down and die- but i wonder if i am crazy or not. my heart still wants him "back" to who he was - my brain says , well, doesn't know what to say. maybe run - he goes to one house for 3 wks - then comes to this one & me for a couple- he calls pretty much each day - unless away w/ ow. i am so confused- on one hand grateful he cares about me and still wnats me in his life- on other hand- soooo offended he can risk this all for that. any insight? is it simply a matter of go with your gut til your gut says run? i'm managing to get more detached & not talk about it, and have patience & silence (a giant accomplishment for me- heart on sleeve kind of gal) i see your wisdom - and the wisdom of this "plan". i'm working on my own shortcomings that i agree with - i'm just lonely & miserable alot so trying this forum to have contact or support or hope or something. i still have hope- find it flagging some days. one year of total realization under my belt- thanks for any one with any comment.
