W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P3

[Snowman]

Update-Went to first counseling to discuss borderline personality disorder and my emotional abuse from it.

I have been abused so long I was convinced of so many things by my W that I can't believe it. I'm definitively done with my marriage. My counselor whole heartedly agreed on the BPD and starting saying things a person with BPD would do before I told my counselor and I had numerous examples throughout my marriage to fit it. I know a person or counselor can't diagnose it but many high functioning BPDs will never get help and will lie/manipulate to not do so. This is a very complicated personality disorder especially when they are high functioning.

My W is pretty much textbook BPD. I have experience so much anger and manipulation that I have pretty much compromised on all aspects of life. I told my counselor I need to work through those things and make sure I don't take that perception with me to my next relationship.

I feel a sense of relief from knowing all this craziness was not me. I'm not saying I don't have my own problems but I will and have owned up to them as I discussed with my counselor. My W has not owned up to one single thing and has projected all her problems which is classic and has done that our entire marriage it just got worse through this.

I could type a novel of what I have learned but needless to say most marriages don't survive BPD. Mine won't and most people in my other support forum say that you would have to be prepared to never receive support or being help the rest of your life. They just have to much inner pain to be able to help others or be equals in a relationship. Sad but true.

Anyway, I have some work to do on me to get me back to healthy self esteem and my view of normal relationships.