I just finished reading the book my FIL suggested.
It was geared toward married couples. You know "those people".
The lucky ones who both want to work things out.
It was a good read anyway.
It was aimed at the H. Saying that most of the trouble in the M could be traced back to him. Not treating your wife gentle enough. Not putting her first. (Behind God.) Not asking for forgiveness. Being critical.
Thats what I took from it anyway. The areas that applied to me.
I think I will ask for forgiveness. It is something I have not done. Sure I have said I'm sorry. And I am. For many things.
But I don't know that I have ever in my entire marriage asked for forgiveness. It never occured to me that saying "I'm sorry", and "would you forgive me" are two separate things.
To a man maybe not. But according to this book they are totally different in a woman's eyes.
I'm sorry could mean sorry I got caught, sorry you called me out on it, sorry you got mad about it...etc.
Do I think she deserves to hear these words come out of my mouth? Yeah, after the careless way I treated her feelings, and my critical comments. She deserves to hear it for the first time.
Most importantly I think asking for forgiveness will realease me, at least partially, from my guilt/mistakes. Regardless of her response.
I will think on it for a little while. My words seem to get jumbled most of the time when trying to do something heartfelt. Maybe a letter. Dunno.
It will be a little tough. I know how to say sorry. Done it a thousand times. Asking for forgiveness. Hmph. That's a new concept for me.
Also there was praise. That is something I didn't do enough. I was quick to point out the seldom, random things that erked me. But showing appreciation for the multitude of things one should be grateful for, not so much.
You live and learn. I feel excited about the changes I am making in my life. I am a better person because of this experience.
