Hello 3KD. I'm married for 28 years also with 3 kids. Hang in their. My H dropped the bomb 3 months ago, but I have been on the roller coaster for 9 months prior. He had me divorced, then reconciled, then divorced, many times in that period. The latest was supposed to be final. I think he is MLC. We still live in the same house but different rooms. Its hard to detach, but on the other hand so many others here would love to be in our shoes.
I'm finally seeing some baby steps in the right direction from Db'ing my a$$ off. As everyone says it take more time that you expect. Patience is the key. I get discouraged all the time. It helps to keep a journal and jot down all the small positive changes that are taking place. Even something like..my H asked me how my day was! Mostly everything is about him.
Keep being consistent. I never let him see me upset. That's what this forum is for and also my loyal friends and family that allow me to lean on them. Really, keep away from the R talk, if your wife feels the pressure of troubles with illness in the family...do your best to take off the pressure. Only talk about things in positives. This is a good mind set for you to be in too, and of course take very good care of yourself.
I speak with a DB coach. If you can do it I highly recommend it. Jody is wonderful for putting things into perspective.
