Thanks for your comments. It is hard to sit back and watch people we care about self-destruct, and in turn destroy their relationships and family. I know the best thing is to let it go.
However, I do have some positive news to report. H made an effort this weekend. Just prior to the bomb, H, who is a mad golfer, had arranged golf lessons for me and we had been practising together. I've used his passion for it as a tool to connect with him and show more interest. Something which is a 180 for me. I had refused to play for many years or take much interest in it. Now we often sit down together and watch golf on the TV. He loves pointing things out to me and giving me commentary about different aspects of the game.
For the first time in 3 months, he asked me if I would like to go out!! to buy some golf shoes and other things, and that's a positive. We spent a few hours looking in different golf warehouses checking things out and buying some stuff.
Later we had a dinner date with friends together with our son 18 who H has been disconnected from for many months and especially since the bomb drop. We had a fun night. It was good to see H happy. Obviously continuing with DB techniques and trying not to have expectations, I went to my room and H went to his.
As hard as it is not to get excited, it has given me more incentive to push on with DB'ing and remember the mantra "patience, patience, patience".
All the best to everyone out there working on their R's. Keep strong.
