I'm a new person

[2chiquitos]

Today we took took the kids to their last swim class. D1 is awesome in the water, H n I think she might've been a fish in her past life! LOL!

This week I have been working really hard at praying, meditating, calling Al Anon members/sponsor, and attending meetings. It has helped tremendously. Anytime I catch myself thinking about my sitch, I pull out my tools and work on it.

As I posted before, his tattoo is a big trigger for me. Today I was able to work on this emotion by realizing that I don't have to forgive. Forgiving is optional. It's beneficial but no one is forcing me to forgive. At least not at that particular moment do I have to work on forgiving. That put the pressure off of me.

Also, I realized that not once in our sitch did I beg him to come back. Sure, I told him I wanted to try but I never begged nor cried for him to come back. I also never prayed to God that he come back. I thought that was interesting.

I think I'm in the early stages of detaching. I feel free'er. Decluttered. Happier. Not as emotionally driven!

God help me to continue this journey. This is the BEST PART OF IT!!! LOL!