New to this and hating it.

[Jannie]

I haven't really defined goals other than I want to be happy which I am acheiving. I spend time with my kids and with friends often. I am busy 4-5 days each week. I have lost weight through stress but continue to maintain the weight loss through portioning and exercise. I have renewed old friendships and made new ones. I joined a church support group.

I haven't spoken to H in 5 days when he dropped by unannounced and uninvited. I'm okay with that. I don't know how long I should go without contacting him and actually hope he'll contact me before I have to find out. Not sure if or when he will, but in the meantime, I am doing fine by not reaching out.

I am in a much better place than when this all started. I reflect upon my marriage frequently. When he left, everything was fixable. His actions since then are appalling. I know they are still fixable should he ever want to, but I will be the one making the decision if/when that happens.

At least that's how I feel today. As you all know, emotions are up, down and all over the place. They change day to day, moment to moment. I'm heading out in a few minutes to meet up with some girlfriends to catch up.