In their most simplistic terms, boundaries are to keep people out, not to keep people in.
MWD does not promote exposure. Although some swear that exposure is the only way to force an A to stop. Of course, that assumes that the A couple had not exposed themselves, already.
If the WAS is running away, the LBS telling them that if they keep running, the LBS will leave... well... that's about as crazy as the WAS thinking their happiness is found in someone or something else, rather than inside them.
To take what I interpret Starsky to be saying in a DB context. LRT worked for him. And LRT worked most recently for Denver_2010.
That said, LRT is truly... the Last Resort Technique.
ie. Look WAS... I'm done here. Either you brain up and figure out what you want, which I hope is me, then I'm done and outta here... c'ya...
And then LBS leaves the building...
That's a choice the LBS may face, one day.
I have no idea what the DB success stats would be if each and everyone of us went straight to LRT. Maybe better, maybe worse.
MWD promotes other methods first, because sometimes things don't have to be so dramatic or black and white.
It is statistically accurate to indicate that any R, including an A, has it's initial moment of bliss, which then settles into mundane. There is no separating the WAS from the A without the WAS being motivated to leave the A.
If the LBS can figure out the motivation for the WAS and provide an even more seductive "pot of gold", then that might help.
Other than that, LRT might or might not work. At least, the LBS draws their line and the M is over.
What we do see is, even after LRT which does not save the M... both the LBS and the WAS will have regrets sometime down the road...
KD, that's a really good and thorough description of the differing philosophies, and the dilemmas associated with them. In my experience, when there is active infidelity going on -- especially long-term, remorseless physical affairs (where the betrayed spouse knows, and the cheating spouse KNOWS that they know, yet continues anyway) it's best to go immediately to the LRT or even the after-the-LRT.
In all my years on here, and studying literally hundreds of affairs, there are really only two things I've seen work: the "let them go" thing or the "actively-affair-bust-with-everything-you-got" thing. (And one can do the latter, first, and then let them go; you realy can't do it the other way around). But it's not until you really move on that you draw them back, sadly (google that scene in the movie "Swingers" sometime -- it's exactly like that).
