Starsky - how to separate the addict when the addict doesn't see a problem?
This is the big question.
FTR, I pretty much agree with Starsky in most sitchs. I don't necessarily disagree with anything he's posted here on this thread.
For me, what is blatantly obvious in this sitch and a few others, is that the WAS is in a strong stance of believing what they are doing is in fact, right and appropriate.
I don't actually think an addict doesn't see the problem. I am more of the mind that an addict just denies the problem, pushes it down, buries it... often, with more of the same behaviour. It's their pattern, which is why they are addicted in the first place.
The coaches that advised both Brit and Zig to "seduce" their Hs is right on, IMHO. And not because they women, it would work similarly for men, as well.
Otherwise, it's one strong minded individual going straight up with another strong minded individual and all they do is yell in each others face. Eventually, one will succumb... sure...
Zig's H, Brit's H, even my wife... Their spouses DO like them. There's an obvious attraction... and then they spew or run away and hide, when they get too close...
This becomes classic pursuit/distance...
The WAS can't know they want the LBS if their back is always facing the LBS because the WAS is running away...
If the LBS stops and puts on "the show"... the WAS might stop and turn around and actually see what they're missing and what they really want...
