Just to be clear, Brit (because I agree with what you wrote here ^^), the "forceful action" that I usually advocate is ONLY with the idea to "separate the addict (the cheater) from the source of their addiction (their affair partner)," as soon as possible, to prevent further damage (strengthening of their emotional bond, erosion of the family's finances, harm to the betrayed spouse's and the children's emotional psyche, etc.).

Starsky - how to separate the addict when the addict doesn't see a problem?

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home