from the WAS to being walked away on

[strongerthanever]

I find myself pondering the meaning behind "for better or for worse"

I guess right now I'm in the for worse part. H and I have to give each other copies of D paperwork before turning it in to the courts. H has not handed anything over or mentioned it, so neither have I.

I contacted him earlier this week about enrolling D3 in soccer and asked if he was able to commit to taking her to practice/games on his weeks. He was enthuastic, which is good. I am happy to see us working together as parents. Even on his weeks I plan to be at her games. This is not about pursuing him, but is about being involved in my daughter's life. If it were any other person I'd be there too.

Only one interaction to comment on-
H and I ml on a Monday, followed by a week of no contact. The following Monday he text me last min as I was headed out the door to drop the girl's off at H's daycare for them. (it was the beginning of his week with them) He started out with small talk, but I responded by telling him that I was busy at the moment and would have to talk later. He then responded that he wanted me to watch them so that he would not have to pasy for their care for the day. I politely responded 2 hrs later that I just noticed his text and had already dropped them off at the time we had agreed upon. He said it was ok and wished me a great day...lovebug. No responce from me.

I still do not have any desire to work on a R with him. His ACTIONS would have to consistantly match his words, and as of right now that hasnt happened for longer than a few hours. Perhaps God isn't done working on this man's heart yet....
But enough trying to figure someone else out

I can't express how happy I have been this past month! My sweet girls are such a blessing, I cherish every moment with them. I am so grateful for their little arms that wrap around me and their sticky kisses. I make every day with them as meaningful and memorable as possible. Never again will I take me blessings for granted.

On my days without them I zumba and cardio kick box it up! I love having a healthy positive outlet for expressing myself. The woman I have met are so much fun to be around. I'm even getting some muscle definition! I have also regained all the weight that I lost post turning into the LBS.

For the longest time I wasn't cooking, which is something I have passionatly started doing again. I even cook full course meals for myself when I'm alone! This week with my girls I'm looking forward to starting a new tradition-home made smoothies and ice cream crawling with gummy worms and other gummy critters. I love letting them help pick out and create our meals.

A friend told me something last night that brought tears to my eyes... "you are taking on full time school, night time shifts in the hospital, a divorce, single parenting and life all with dignity, grace and self respect-it's inspiring" thank you