more turtles by my side...

[zig]

GRIN - thanks for accepting the hug ! and thanks so much for the one you gave me. i remember the last one you gave me - i was teetering bad, this time i'm good !

KD i am aware that both h and I could be using MLC as an excuse!!

it still doesn't deter from the fact that he's doing what he's doing, no matter how he or i explain it. it's a recent trend - him telling my friends about this mlc - as if in - please don't think bad of me, i'm having a crisis...

i have seen his confusion - all along - DEEP confusion even when he is in the throes of spewing. and others around us have seen the same.

this man has not walked away - he intended to, he has tried desperately to, but he is not letting go. if anyone is letting go, it's me. and not so much as letting go as turning in another direction.

he said to me at one point - "zig, i'm really in love with you and i know that but i am going to fight as hard as i can to deny those feelings and MAKE them go away", then a few minutes later "i feel too vulnerable with you, i can't bear it"

all that in between telling me for 2 hours all the reasons why we can't be together.

the above is what i heard also....

Our journeys are about us. Our enjoyment... our happiness... is contingent on US... and how we react... which is based on our fears...

We ACT on desire... We REACT on fear...

So may your future have more actions... and less reactions...


thank you for your blessing KD - i am, with all the help i am getting here, learning to get to that place.

and GRIN - are you telling me I "reacted" to starsky?????

about your wife - my h does the same - what's the point of pointing out their difficulties? it only adds stress. i don't want to be associated with the additional stress that h would feel if i pointed those things out, so i have always chosen to take the other way where i just gently reply again, or give him the info again. it makes my life easier, and i think his also. as it's been said before - it's not our job to point out where they are at and how they are not doing so well.

hey - i'm going to have to name one of my turtles KD - you realize that, don't you?

it's a huggy day so here we go again

((((( KD ))))))

zig