more turtles by my side...

[zig]

Busting - sweet sweet busting - you are so wrong about not being here for me. just because you didn't post on my thread? no, no - you've been right by my side at the picnic the whole time.

you think the picnic is only for you? i NEED to be at that picnic just as much as you or anyone else does. do you not think that banter on your thread was helping me to stay in a good place? do you know how many times this week i said to myself - i'm at the picnic with all you guys. you are as much here for me as you could possibly be, sweet girl, and besides - i'm at the point where knowing the picnic is in full swing helps me stay on that blanket. well, that and brit given' it to me straight up no ice and i so like her style (grin)

I cleaned up the picnic blanket and got some fresh drinks, glasses and updated the playlist. Join me again?

again - i never left - okay so i leaned ofer and turned around but i promise i never got off!!! not for a second!!

i loved to read what you wrote - actually i was delighted - you've taken such strides in the last couple of weeks busting - you've stepped back and begun to see what's what - not overshadowed by your emotions. now you can think again in a more constructive way - and see more clearly what it is that you CAN do.


It is also confusing I think because we as LBS I don't think we actually realised for a long while how unhappy our S's were. So when this hits us we have to first take some time to recover from the blow and then the slow process of understanding how so many things we thought were working were actually the things that were not working.

yes this is why i am where i'm at - i can say for myself that i did see that he was not happy and i tried ALOT to ask him tot talk to me. he just denied it completely - and that's what made me so terribly unhappy. at the time i saw it as him not trusting me enough to open up to me.

now i see that his issue was that he could not acknowledge his own feelings to himself , let alone to me. that there is no way i could have or can fix that. that's for him to fix...

i don't know if my standing by him while he is in crisis is the "correct" thing to do. all i know is that taking the higher road here for me is the only choice i have. i know myself, i know my own tendencies and it would only be too easy for me to take the other route... i cannot do that, because then i will prevent the true growth that needs to occur within me.

except oddly now - i have reached the point where i couldn't take that easy road of anger and indignation - it's not the way i function any longer

hey - what did you add to that playlist? i hope there's lots of ABBA - because there's nothing like Abba to get one swinging and laughing once again!!! my s must know that - for the last three times he's returned back here - he walks straight into his room and turns Abba on

(((((( ))))))) to you busting - you have become the same kind of friend to me

zig