Marriage = busted. Help me bust my divorce too!!

[mamabird]

Thanks Bond. You are spot on. Although, if my H ever washed my car for me I think I'd die!

Never really realized that he has low self-esteem although it makes sense now that I am looking at the R from a more distanced perspective. It all adds up as I look at his behavior both in the marriage and over the last 6 weeks. Everything he is doing now is an extreme version of his tactics in the marriage: avoidance/running away, blaming, shaming, not taking accountability.

I have been trying to compliment him whenever possible. I will keep trying. I'm keeping a spreadsheet now to track our interactions to see if they are improving over time. In the last few days they have been. Also, you are right, I need to actually stand up to him vs. ignoring or sweeping his nastiness under the rug. We don't talk that much but I will give it a try.

I will get back on here after Tuesday when we have our next MC session. H is in Hawaii now so hopefully that's helping him relax and get a more mature perspective on all that has gone on.