Just thinking about the OW and not being with the kids. It COULD be because she is trying to set boundaries with your H. ie. She won't be with him unless she is 100% his focus... and may have nothing to do with respecting his time with the kids.
I'm just throwing that possibility out there. We do find that often the OP is selfish and needy and is an affair down. Maybe she is being respectful... then again... maybe not...
