That is an unfortunate way and time to hear that your W wanted to end the M.
This board slows down during the summer and also during the weekend. With the posts that are busy, newbie posts can sometimes be missed. Also, as a newcomer, your posts are moderated. I'm not sure the exact criteria, but we find that a newbie posting regularly and short with appropriate content, will find themselves off moderation soon enough and their posts appear immediately.
Even thought you felt resolve and strength prior to arriving home, it is understandable that you may be a little more emotional now that you are back "in the sitch". Get your feet under you and get yourself back to that mindframe where you felt you were "OK" regardless of the outcome, even if you had/have some hope.
In your post #2263910 above, you mention about questioning whether you are doing the 180s for yourself, or for your W. Certainly, you should be doing the 180s for yourself, even if it was something that your W had complained about, in the past. Do the 180 because you feel it is good for you, and very minor, it may help the M.
I just noticed some new posts from you so it looks like you may already be off moderation. I'll read the rest and will respond what I can and hopefully other members will also start to engage you in your thread as vero has.
