I just wanted to recommend a book for everyone. I'ts The Heart of the Soul by Gary Zukav.
I bought this book ages ago not long after his first book seat of the soul. Think I'll read that one again.
It's a book about Emotional Awareness, and it's so spot on. It's helping me because he explains the root cause of some very big emotions we all have and actions we all do to try and pursue pleasurable feelings, but never really get it.
He talks about The disease to please, sex addiction, entitlement, perfectionism, alcohol and drugs, to name a few. Things people end up doing when "running" from certain emotions.
I was really blown away when I found how much I really do try to please others in order to feel worthy....and believe it or not XH did this two, but we operate on two sides of the coin. I covertly please for external power, he RAGES in order to pursue external power, then PLEASES when frightened.
Worth a read, quite interesting.
Im still struggling with waves of jealousy and confusion, especially when the girls come home with a full report of all thats gone on with XH on their days with him. Im really trying to work through these emotions, not try and bury them. Burying them just makes it so much worse.
It sounds as if XH consistently tries to engage OW into his family activities he plans with the girls. She consistently says "No". This week she decided to stay home and do laundry instead of going down to the creek and enjoying the day and having a picnic. I was jealous he offered that to her, but when I offered such thing he refused and rejected me. If I remember right he rejected all those interactions because he didn't want to be around me. Very confusing, and hard pill to swallow.
