New attitude, new thread

[ClingingToHope]

SFO,

XW already said there's a payment plan option. But that's the same as another monthly cost. I'd rather pull the money out and pay off my half all at once. XW can do a payment plan on her half.

I don't want to add any more monthly bills.

I borrowed from my 401(k) to pay off my attorneys (divorce and bankruptcy) and the Canada trip and have enough for the braces.

By doing that I lowered my bi-weekly paycheck $38, but I was paying $50 a check to the attorneys. So I'm $12 to the good every two weeks. Over the course of a year that's another $300.

I know in the grand scheme of things, it's bad to borrow from your 401(k). But at this point in my life I have to make sacrifices. I don't plan on retiring until I physically can't work anyway. What would I do with myself?

Met with new publisher for our paper. They don't believe our merit raises will be much this year. We haven't had one in three years. Instead, they are offering an incentive plan where if we meet profit goals in last six months, each employee will receive $500.

We've never done that. I think it's 50/50 that we'll reach the goal. I like the new guy though.

Complication with the masters program. I heard back from the guy I'll be working for -- potentially -- and he messaged that he'd like to figure out how I can get 25 hours in a week there.

25 HOURS????

Good lord, there are weeks I'll be lucky to get in five with all of the various commitments I have. I have to write a very careful response back saying there are times during the year where I'll be able to commit 10 to 15 hours a week to the college, but there are also weeks I'll be there just three to five.

The email caused a little anxiety.

[ClingingToHope]

Sigh. Dinner with daughters. I gave up my normal night with them because I have to catch up on everything else.

They were talking about their fun weekend with their mom. D13 stressed they went with XW and their grandmother. That confused D9 so they went outside to talk it over.

At the restaurant, I asked them what the problem was at the house. They said XW told them to lie and say it was just XW and her mom on the trip.

I probably said too much in return.

I said, "I figured BF went along. I know he answered XW's cell phone on Friday when we got home, so I knew then he was going. I don't like the fact that she's taking you on trips to hotels with him, but there isn't anything I can do about it. I don't want you to lie about it."

D9 said she doesn't like to talk about places they go with BF because she knows it makes me sad.

"I understand honey, but I have to get stronger don't I?"

I should have stopped at this last part.

"Guys, I don't like the fact XW asked you to lie about BF. She's been lying to me about him for three years now. Just tell me the truth. I'll be fine."

In the end, the three of us decided we could talk about the fun trips or things they do with their "other" family, they just won't mention names. I'm good with that.

After dinner, I went to the library to pick up a book about anger my therapist suggested. My library didn't have it. I'm hoping the larger library system has it.

I felt a little sad during dinner because they went some places I would like to take them, but I know I've got lots of great places to go with them the next few years.

[kat727]

If not you could probably get it fairly cheap on Amazon. Just a thought.

I want my kids to be happy and have a good time when they are with their Dad. I do wish he actually spent time with them rather than being a good time Dad but I am not responsible for their relationship.

You have this short amount of time to connect and make special memories. Believe me it doesn't have to cost much and those times are the ones my kids remember and talk about.

kat

[ClingingToHope]

Found the anger book at the larger library. Eager to start reading it tonight.

I sign up for classes tomorrow. I know one -- an accounting class -- has to be Thursday night. I am hoping I can take another either on a Monday night or Saturday morning.

Any other night -- Tuesday, Wednesday, or if I have to take a morning class -- I'll either have to give up some of my part-time work or give up an overnight with the girls.

That realization made me a little angry. If I had the girls 50/50 like I wanted, I wouldn't have to have so many part-time gigs and working in graduate classes would be simpler.

But that doesn't help me. I sent XW a text saying I may have to sign up for a morning class and that would affect my schedule.

I am bouncing back and forth between being excited to start and dreading the time it's going to take.

I know this. The girls will see the effort it takes to get ahead. That'll be a valuable lesson.

[DaddyLongShanks]

Found the anger book at the larger library. Eager to start reading it tonight.

I sign up for classes tomorrow. I know one -- an accounting class -- has to be Thursday night. I am hoping I can take another either on a Monday night or Saturday morning.

Any other night -- Tuesday, Wednesday, or if I have to take a morning class -- I'll either have to give up some of my part-time work or give up an overnight with the girls.

That realization made me a little angry. If I had the girls 50/50 like I wanted, I wouldn't have to have so many part-time gigs and working in graduate classes would be simpler.

But that doesn't help me. I sent XW a text saying I may have to sign up for a morning class and that would affect my schedule.

I am bouncing back and forth between being excited to start and dreading the time it's going to take.

I know this. The girls will see the effort it takes to get ahead. That'll be a valuable lesson.

stay focused on the prize. stay excited!

[ClingingToHope]

Great meeting today with the college. They basically are going to give me a list of graduates. I'm to contact them and write profiles and record video interviews so they can use their prominent graduates to recruit new students.

I'll get a desk, but I won't be expected to be at it all that much.

And they are paying 100 percent of the tuition for an MBA that would cost me $25k otherwise. I just have to pay an enrollment fee of $50 and for the books.

This is unbelievable.

I am super psyched.

[mishka422]

Holy cow!!!! That is fantastic!!! Congrats!

[whatisis]

Excellent! Happy for you CTH

[ClingingToHope]

About the laziest weekend ever. The girls were pretty beat from all the travels the last three weeks so they just wanted to veg.

The only thing we did was go swimming at my developer friend's mansion, which brought up some interesting discussions.

After swimming in his pool, he gave the girls a tour of his house, which is worth about $10 million.

After, we cleaned up and went to church where, coincidentally, the series is called "The comparison trap."

It was a great message, because both girls are struggling with comparing themselves to others. Shoot, I do it too.

So we talked about being jealous of the mansion. It was a good discussion.

That was it though for actually doing anything. The girls played a Wii game together just about all of Saturday night. Sunday, D13 sang and dance in the basement. D9 played video games.

I got D9 up for a couple of bike rides and a short swim. I made D13 go on a longer bike ride and a couple of walks.

In two weeks, I'm having a swimming party for D9, who will become D10, and then we are going zip lining. A week after that we leave for Canada, so we have fun, stressful stuff coming up.

XW intruded on my lazy weekend with an email. It was scheduling stuff, but she slipped in the fact that she's going back to Sturgis with her motorcycle buddies.

There was absolutely no reason to include that in the email other than to make me angry.

And it did. It stirred up the emotions from her trip there in 2009.

But I'm handling it well. The trick, at least this week, is to keep singing to myself, "Something great is going to happen to me" over and over and over.

I just want to be free of the emotional weight.

Messaging with two women on OKCupid. There interest doesn't seem to be too great -- and they don't live too close anyway -- but they keep responding. So I asked one if she'd like to come into town next weekend and I'd take her around downtown.

I figure I might as well take a chance and I have a free weekend.

There's another one I was messaging on OKCupid, but she's the one who dropped off but said I could message her on Facebook. So we exchanged a couple of messages. She's extremely smart. Probably much smarter than I am. I am interested in seeing her in person. If the OKCupid girl from out of town shoots me down, I'll take a run at seeing if the FB girl would like to go out. I just want to go out on a date again, especially before the fall when everything gets busy, busy, busy again.

[ClingingToHope]

So I responded to XW's email matter of factly.

She responds back again on the same stuff and adding detail about her trip.

Didn't see it until now. Not going to respond.