In home separation? Off / On? Still WAW? Dunno

[breakdownbill]

Had my Graduation on Tuesday & I was worried because my W would be spending the whole day & night with my parents how things would be. A few times I could tell my W felt awkward (understandable)but on the whole she was fine.

I had a blast on the day, it was great catching up with some of my friends & lecturers. My kids were there cheering me on & the day was really special to me.

I'm still sitting with my thoughts about coming up with a plan & a few things are running through my head.

The biggest barrier right now for me is financial - I won't have any income until September & the kids break up for 6 weeks summer holidays tomorrow - so I can only work evenings & weekends.

The problem I've been having is finding temporary work - most of the jobs I've been going for I've been over qualified or they haven't been temporary roles.

I've been playing over the conversation I want to have with my W & just wanted to gage what you guys thought about it.

I was going to bring up an R talk and say something like this...

W I've been thinking about what you said, that we didn't get any closer on holiday & I think that we have both put up a wall that stops us from making any progress in either working things out or going our separate ways.

I've tried to give you space & had time to think what would help our situation.

For me, I can't continue in any relationship with you whilst you are still in contact with the OM. It doesn't matter to me if you say nothing is going on anymore, because it does 2 things for me.

firstly it prevents me from even trying to re-gain any trust for you, and secondly it shows that you have no respect for me as your H.

If we were to try & work through our issues I would need you to agree to NC with the OM (give up that dance class) and to go to MC.

I will understand if you don't want to do these things, but please understand that I am no longer willing to stay in this M the way things are and if you continue to see the OM I will be filing soon / seeking legal advice / Moving out.

I think these are the only 3 things I could use as an ultimatum - I'm still sitting on this because it's only been a week or so that I've contemplated the possibility of filing myself (I'm leaning towards that choice)and my financial situation.

I really think I need to shake things up - otherwise I'm just going to waste months (maybe years) cycling around this, when I could be progressing one way or the other.

Bill