All you can hope for is that a seed was planted. He didn't "hear" anything today but he may get the message some time down the road. Be glad it was said to him. He is beginning to see the reality of his wants
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
It's good that your h was put on notice about things. As for him whining to your son, well, he sounds like a little boy who had his toy truck taken away...you, mean? Hah! He doesn't know what mean is. He's finally hearing what his actions have brought on the family. In time, he will have to face the consequences of his actions and from what I read here, it's already beginning.
Now, it's time for you to turn your focus back on to you and your children...allow God to work on your h.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H came home tonight surprise surprise. He is very distant and cold.'I am not surprised. He told me he was hesitant to spend money on the kids now becaus he doesn't want me throwing him "under the bus" in court. I explained that wasnt my intention. I swear it's like dealing with a two year old.
He is taking the kids camping this weekend. I have plans with friends for the weekend. Not sure what all we will do but we certainly are not sitting around.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
"He told me he was hesitant to spend money on the kids now becaus he doesn't want me throwing him "under the bus" in court. "
When he says something like that, tell him. "Well their your kids, so if you don't want to spend money on them, I'm sure they'll understand. Don't ever use me as an excuse for your not being good father."
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks Mr. Bond. I always look forward to your responses.
So H is gone again. He called S and told him he was getting groceries for the camping trip which floored me. H has never bought groceries in the 14 years we have been together. Then it dawned on me. There is no way he is capable of purchasing groceries for a camping trip. He is with OW. She is helping him get "the right stuff".
H then called me a few hours later to ask if I was packing D's bag or did he have to do it? I asked "are you capable of doing it?" I was not being sassy. I wanted to know if he had concerns. He said he could do it but didn't want to pack the "wrong thing". I told him as long as he did not pack any nice clothes for camping we would be fine. He told me "I just don't want any issues." I didn't say anything. He then said I guess if you dont pack it then I will have to. I said okay and bye.
Really? This is not going to end once the D is final. I will need lots of patience to endure all this.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So monster H has struck again. He emailed me yesterday demanding the information about S's counselor and then told me I did not have his consent to take the kids to counseling and forbade me from taking them to counseling until he talked to the counselor himself. Can you believe this guy? I asked him of that mean he was denying our son medical treatment for a diagnosed medical condition since the therapist diagnosed S with depression and anxiety? I forwarded his email to my lawyer and called the counselor to discuss this with her. I have a long road ahead of me. That is for sure. I cannot believe he has turned into such a selfish jerk!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
It's all about control. It might be good if he did see your son's therapist. The therapist may then have a better idea how to work w/your son. It is important that he get the medical assistance he requires in order to work through his depression and anxiety. Who cares if your h throws a hissy fit? You are the primary care giver and his mother, as well as being the sane adult right now.
Yes, the monster comes out to play quite often when they don't get their way. I would venture to say that something has rattled is cage a good bit yesterday. Don't engage w/your h again for a while. He wants fuel for the fire that is raging within him.
Yes, you do have a long road ahead of you, but if you stick to your boundaries and not back down, you'll be okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly what would I do without you? Lol. H is still raging from our court date. He is angry because he made a fool of himself and of course it's my fault for throwing "digs" at him in court. I don't have a problem with him talking to S's counselor. Maybe she will see what we are really dealing with. She's been at this a long time. Over 30 years. She's seen it all.
H is camping with the kids this weekend. Maybe he will cool down, maybe not. Then tomorrow he is off to the UK so that will be some well needed distance. For both of us.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Let's hope the UK trip will settle him down a bit. It will be interesting to see what the therapist has to say about him, if he really does make an appointment.
Enjoy your time while he's gone.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Had a great evening with a long, lost friend. Good drinks, great dinner and good movie. Been a long time since I have had a weekend like this and not have to worry about when to be home. Even saw a shooting star on the way home. I think that's God's way of telling me it's gonna be okay. Tired, but content.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
