I haven't been posting much since I feel that I don't have too much to say, but here is a quick update:
Things are moving forward between H and I. He's been very loving and attentive (when he's around he seems to have a busy schedule between work and soccer).
I just came back from a business/personal trip overseas. I was away for 2 weeks, had a great time. H emailed a lot to tell me how much he missed me. We did Facetime a few times, too.
When he picked me and S up after we had a rather long trip back, he made sure to tell me that he cleaned, vacuumed, did laundry, etc. He seemed a bit disappointed when I didn't notice right away that he had cleaned my car (which is black with black interior, and it was midnight!), but I did thank him several times.
Tomorrow is our anniversary. I don't know if we're doing anything. MIL is not available to watch S, and we don't have other options. We may do something as a family, or may postpone it to next week. He had been talking about wanting to get new wedding bands.
We're driving down together to see his bio family this weekend as there was a death in the family. H used his "new" family as an escape during our difficult times. I am honestly not looking forward to seeing them. But this is not about me, so I will do my best to be supportive and friendly, and disregard any opinions they may have. I suppose it was a good sign that he wanted S and I to drive down and stay with his bio family, and go to the funeral. I haven't seen them in a couple of years, but H spent some time with them in March and came back from the trip with a different mind....like he suddenly realized what he was about to give up, and things have been on the upswing since.
I still go to IC once a month, but I'm thinking about stopping. I'm not sure I'm getting anything out of it anymore. My next IC appt is next week, so we'll see.
H is still not willing to do MC, and I won't push him. I may suggest it again at some point. Even though I am not looking forward to reliving what has happened, I feel that it is important to talk through, to get each others perspectives, to learn and to grow.
I still wonder what made him have a change of heart, but I'm afraid to ask. It's too soon. Maybe one day I will, but we're still too fragile for that. I wonder how someone can go from loving someone, to hating, and then to saying that they love them again. I remember too well the looks on his face during the first couple of months post bomb. It wasn't that he just felt indifferent about me anymore. His eyes were so full of hate. I wonder if he remembers that. Thinking about it doesn't actually hurt me anymore, I'm just curious.
The other day I was on LinkedIn and OW came up as a suggestion. H was near me when I was trying to figure out how to remove her from future suggestions. I asked H, but he didn't know. I think he knew why I was asking, because his answer was short and simple. Usually, he will try to figure it out. Seeing OW's name and photo didn't cause any reaction in me. I didn't get upset, angry, or whatever. A friend later told me how to remove her from the suggestions. Even though I felt nothing when I saw her, I would still rather not see her again.
I think this is pretty much it. Things are going pretty well.
he seems to have a busy schedule between work and soccer).