I think I could have dealt with her just walking away, that was justified. To start the affair while we were still together
so suss out the feelings that the affair makes you feel..rejection? insecurity? and work on healing that inside you.
Also I gained a lot of weight during my marriage and have recently lost it...50 pounds. I am realising that a lot of how I saw myself with and without the weight have had an impact on me. For you to go from 300 to whatever you are now there are things inside you, that you probably need to deal with.
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then tricking me out of the house I built for our family and taking all possessions of value while leaving me their trash to clean up was uncalled for.
people do things for all sorts of reasons and yes some people do things because they are horrible people but either you heal from the hurt and forgive or you decide this is someone you don't want to be with. In my mind you can't be both....either she has treated you HORRIFICALLY and you don't want to be with someone who can do this...or you have decided that this was done for some reason that isn't there any more and you've forgiven her. I can't understand how you can still be so upset by her actions and yet want to win her back? And it doesn't make you a hero or an amazing person to say look how horrible she was and I still want to be with her...that's i don't know f*cked up in a way like using her shortcomings to prove your awesomeness. i'm not saying you're doing that...I'm just saying that's what it would be. If you don't forgive her in your heart, if you do ever R you'll hold this over her head or it will slip out when you're angry etc.
