Wow, Brit. That whole post gave me chills. With your last paragraph I could envision the two of you meeting each other for the first time like it was in a movie and then fast forwarding through the movie and going through all of your trials up until now. You are amazing! Thank you for continuing to help me. I will get there some day.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
So maybe THOSE things aren't true anymore, but neither of us morphed into monsters overnight. I've forgiven him and accepted his choices. And I've forgiven myself and accepted that I can grow and not be afraid.
Beautifully said Brit.
It made me think about how we take things/peoples/places for granted over time. It is like we build up a plateau of sorts to happiness, those initial feelings you describe lose power and we think we need something more or different. I would guess it has some connection (the flip side) to the mechanism in which pain and grieving also plateaus over time in a protective manner.
I think this experience will deepen our awareness of how Rs change/plateau and how to shift those changes into growth in all the Rs in our world and future.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
I have to believe that this is all making me into a better woman (the kind only a fool would leave) and I feel happy that there's a man who doesn't know how lucky he is because I'm going to be an amazing wife to him be abuse of this. Maybe it's my H, maybe not. I think in the past I always evaluated men by what they could offer me and just thought of course I'm great and for the first time u'n learning how to truly give, empathise, care for, instead of control and plan because I know best.
Thank you NHMom. I feel like I spent March -May in some sort of fog. Someone termed it Newcomer Fever and god it's so true. I was a mess. I think you have to drop the rope and regain your footing. Before you can start to grow. I'm not the person I was when I walked away and I'm not the person I was a few months ago.
H texted me this evening. He hadn't texted me since the slightly cringe-y text from yesterday. It was all business about him picking up S tomorrow. Friendly but I am cautious not to overstep after I felt myself having expectations. I am happy that I ended the text convo and just said see you tomorrow.
I spent Dec to Feb in the fog/fever. Sometime in March I started to "wake up", to accept what was happening, and think about the future. Ironically, it was also about the same time H started to have a change of heart.
oooh i need to read up on your thread...I think that's what happened. I was in WAW blinder mode from Sept to Jan. In Feb/March I had a change of heart and he moved on. Then I went into Newcomer fever. It's been a rollercoaster. He kept saying I just want us to both be happy. I think I am now...I don't know if he is.
