A New Path - I just left my wife

[tpc1977]

I'm meeting with my wife tonight to talk about our future. I don't see it being repaired because she doesn't have the strength - or even the desire - to repair it. It would take a lot. Trust is gone. Honesty is gone. She lied and lied on top of the lies to keep it hidden. Though I sort of knew. Plus their relationship was sexual. How the heck can I get past that? My wife built up so many walls that she started building them for me too.

Right now, I've moved on with very little contact. She has barely contacted me. Once my daughter text me and told me that mommy loved me. I didn't respond. Not sure how to really. Another time I had to go over to pick up my girl and there was my wife naked as heck sweeping the kitchen. I ignored it, walked past and turned on the tv. Whether or not she intended for me to be turned on didn't matter.

Several weeks ago she asked me to come over. We were talking on occasion and stupid me started opening my heart to her again. Big mistake. When she sensed it she started getting comfortable again. Before this she was crying and asking me to come back. After she started talking again about not really knowing what she wanted. One of our last real conversations was her telling me she didn't know what she wanted; me, him, no one. I don't need to be a part of that decision. I'm way more worthy than that. I'm so much more than a number in some equation. So I told her not to include me. Just go get yourself into a better place. Be happy. Then I told her not to worry about me.