I don't have one of the posts, but I think she said she felt she wasn't wrong *at the time*. It wasn't until later...
For what it's worth, they do sometimes admit it. Mine said something like that, but has since forgotten that and decided I'm to blame for everything again; seems to think I can't get over her leaving (as if) but that what she's doing with regards to the kids is fine.
They may never admit it us though. At least not truthfully. Can you imagine how hard that would be for them?? (as opposed to how hard it is to continue with the stories right?)
I doubt seriously it would mean much even if they did. Closure comes from within. Figuring it out or hearing those words has little effect in the scheme of things.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Tad AmyC is on my fb page, go add her. She is pretty cool. I know she said she was married to an alcoholic. They did not reconcile. Says he is still lost.
Not that an MLCer will ever admit that something is wrong with them or "not right", but is there any posting on Amy's thoughts about this? With or without OP?
AmyC Member
Registered: 10/26/05 Posts: 12896
Looks like....about 12,000 of them ????
Call me crazy
Cadet ....
Have you come across her story about the "adult" site she joined, to make her husband jealous ???
Have you come across her story about the "adult" site she joined, to make her husband jealous ???
Get ready to LYAO when you do....
Yes I read that, don't ask me which post it was though.
Unfortunately 1/2 of her posts have been PURGED. There are about 6350 posts still here.
I really wanted the ones that spoke about her MLC, the board has lots of good advice to read, even yours MACH.
But not that much insight into the mind of an MLC'er.
That insight helps to give me comfort and understanding. Not that I can do anything about it.
If it was so easy to just go to a dating website and get your spouse back then MWD would change the TOS and sell dates to LBS's. I don't think it works that way. And, FTR, this is not directed at anyone in particular.
Cadet, MGoBlue is a former poster who experienced an MLC. His postings should be somewhere in the archives.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
M Go Blue Paul has so many good threads I don't know if I can list them all. There are over 30 threads spanning a period of 2000-2007. Snodderly if you have any other favorites please let me know.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi everyone. Maybe I missed something, but is there any place that describes how/when/why Amy came out of her crisis? Just curious as to how this stuff works.
Tad
Try reading this thread from Braveheart, and post from 8/24/06 which I posted earlier in this thread. I guess DB has purged one of the threads that explains the MLC in more detail.
It was actually a series of events, one being a huge dose of reality. My husband had left for a second time, I had gotten rid of the OM and I was really alone for the first time. I just couldn't run anymore and I couldn't look at myself in the mirror either.
Also, last August 13th, I was on the scene of a motorcycle accident up the road from my house in which the man died with me sitting in the ditch beside him waiting for the ambulance. I can not effectively describe what that did to me but it had A LOT to do with me recognizing how quickly everything can be gone and what is really important.
There is no one thing that is going to pull somebody out of a MLC. It depends on the person. IMO, non-interference by the LBS will allow a person to come through it quicker.
During my MLC, I did not see ANYTHING for what it really was. I don't know how to explain the deception I was under which was largely self-imposed.
But right about this time last year I starting pulling my head out of my ass and it was not a pretty picture at all.
Amy
Also I posted this thread from Braveheart which re-asks the same question. 8/27/06
It seems like a very long time ago, and it was! It goes without saying that I have learned a lot since then and my thought process has changed a lot when looking at MLC. I really feel that I am the most misunderstood person on this board. Yes, I have my thoughts on stats and success rates, yes, I'm not too positive when talking about it, but I do not discourage people from standing, quite the opposite. I encourage newbees to stand when this starts, I also encourage people to change things up and not be so predictable. I do feel that there comes a time to move on..... I know before I continue this, everyone will say that the individual must make that choice and determination. Again I agree, but I do encourage them to move forward. We have people who have been on here doing the same things for 8 or more years. Its obvious to even the most positive person that those tactics aren't working and changes need to be made. What I see many times are lots of people too afraid to do anything different out of fear. I try to help people get past that, try to become their own person, be more self-reliant and live their lives. Again, I know many will disagree with my methods, statements, and thoughts, and that's your right. I think standing is needed and warranted for a time, but after a time, you need to look at other options. I think that after awhile people who stand for long periods of time develop a poor self-esteem and develop a lot of resentment. Case in point, I have a cousin who's H went through a MLC, he left her with 3 kids, had the OW and did everything with her. She told me about it and I asked her if she wanted him back? Yes was her answer. Are you willing to endure all the things that come with this? Yes was her answer. I told her to go for it and work on making herself a better person. Fast forward 2 years, he loses his job, the OW leaves him, and he returns home.... Fast forward now 6 months later. She wants to divorce him, feels like she was 2nd choice, feels like he lost everything because of the OW, etc. I told her these were some of the side-effects to standing and she needed to process this before she divorced him. She told me that she felt this was the only way that she could feel good about herself again. Anyway, lots of pitfalls no matter what you do.
