You got great feedback from Denver and 25. I hope you take time to read and re-read them.
Based on your posts, your emotions are still a roller coaster, and understandably so. Just think of it as 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. One day you'll feel strong, the next day you feel like giving up.
As it was mentioned above, the D is not going to bring you closure, at least not on the emotional level.
And as long as OM is in the picture, you really don't have a shot. But it's out of your control. She has to end it on her own. If you are still willing to fight for her, don't show her. Your job is now to focus entirely on yourself, on how you can improve yourself (it's an ongoing journey, btw). If she notices, great. If she doesn't, oh well (that's not the purpose anyway).
You keep mentioning forgiveness, but I don't think you fully have forgiven her or yourself. Forgiveness is a process, and it can take a long time. I'd recommend reading some books or articles on that from time to time.
What's done is done. You can't change the past. Nobody can. You can let go. All the things you say you did for her, set them free...think of them as a gift that you gave your W without expecting ANYTHING in return. Just a kind gesture. Now - look forward, look to the future. Are you happy with the man that you are? Is there anything you'd like to work on?
