As far as the EA goes, in my opinion, you are in competition, be the better choice, the better man...for now, let it go. She sees you as controlling, and touching on this (right now) only confirms that in her mind. Let it go for now...truly let it go, you can't control it anyway. Worry about that later. Really dig deep within and don't give the OM and the EA any head space. Oh, and she WILL KNOW if you are faking letting it go...so ya gotta be brutally honest with yourself here. Does it really matter, RIGHT NOW? I think your time is better spent on YOU than on OM....
Yeah, I definitely feel like if she hasn't done anything at this point, she's one push from doing it. I think I've done a pretty good job of accepting that the past is the past and regardless what dirt may be there, I'm still good to move forward with our R. My hangup has been, regardless what may have happened prior, I don't want it to continue. Of course, that festers and then old, bad habits start to show. You are right, I have to truly let it go....I can't control it. This is going to take some work, I am going to have to tell myself everyday, focus on what you can control....focus on me! Let go of the rest.
With all that said, tonight is supposed to be golf night for me, but it's just too friggin hot. W texted me a little bit ago and asked if I was going or no. I said no, but I might go hang out with my B. She just called and reminded me she had a church meeting from 6-7 and then let me know that some girlfriends were going to the wine bar for one of their bdays. She said she was going to stop by for an hour, "not an all night event, just make an appearance." I said ok, tell friend I said happy bday. Then she says, "thanks for finishing dinner. I really appreciate your help."
Wow...finally, 18 months after the first bomb, and a few days after the last bomb, I'm getting some respect and courtesy? WTH is going on here? This is what we've been fighting about for months now. I don't get it, but I'm not going to try to right now either. It's what I've been asking for...I'm going to be thankful for it. I've told her 10 times "I don't expect you to jump in, but if you stick your toe in now and again, you might see that the water's changed." Maybe she's dipping her toe a few times before she moves out. I dunno. And that's twice this week.
Time to finish dinner....probably will skip time with the B and watch a movie with my little people
