If you magically knew, for sure, that she was testing, how would your reaction be different? How would you percieve things? It helps/helped me to see a lot of things as a test until my changes were internalized and solid.
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She's painted scenarios
Yup... many of them...some of the ones my W came up with and was certain on doing, and that I would of course go along with, were, just...just "wow, really?" It is funny now, but not then...just part of the script.
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when I think I'm not asking for much, she sees control....and then she runs.
We train our spouses how to react to us over the years, so she is going to see what she expects, from your past interactions...consistency and time is required for HER habit to change, assuming YOUR S.O.P. is changed...
As far as the EA goes, in my opinion, you are in competition, be the better choice, the better man...for now, let it go. She sees you as controlling, and touching on this (right now) only confirms that in her mind. Let it go for now...truly let it go, you can't control it anyway. Worry about that later. Really dig deep within and don't give the OM and the EA any head space. Oh, and she WILL KNOW if you are faking letting it go...so ya gotta be brutally honest with yourself here. Does it really matter, RIGHT NOW? I think your time is better spent on YOU than on OM....
Just my opinions...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
