Needing some guidance... 5

[25yearsmlc]

I cannot explain all the things that worked and didn't work in my sitch.

I know a few that did...a trip I took with the kids to Italy, without h...not to punish but simply not to wait on him anymore. At the last minute he wanted to come too, for "part of it" which would require MAJOR changes in our itinerary, which we planned 8 months in advance. NOT unusual for him to do that, but no longer alright with me.

So I said "sorry, way too complicating NOW so, maybe next time" and he could not complain. He could have planned ahead but he did not.

And I let go.

I began to assume we'd be friendly but divorced. I sought jobs overseas for after d1 graduated. H saw my applications and seemed to note them but said nothing. What could he say?

D2 (then 12,) said she'd be willing to do one year overseas "for the adventure" and for the first time

in decades, i could live where I wanted to live, without regard to H's career.

it was so freeing. I joined things, met new friends and began to look and feel better.

It took some serious persuasion on h's part when he decided he wanted back in.

I PAUSED...

Not b/c I wanted to punish him. On the contrary, I worked hard on forgiveness.


But FIRST I wanted to trust his changes were real

AND SECOND, b/c I was not sure I wanted to give up my new cool life.

That's what I know...