New to separation. Am I doing the right things?

[Accuray]

FYI, a WAS who is gone does not say this "And I don't even know what you are thinking about us?"

They don't care what you're thinking about "us", they just want you to accept that they are gone.

Your W really WANTS to come back, but is SCARED that your financial situation will never improve. She is protecting herself by distancing, because she's tired of feeling unsafe.

Forget those questions you teed up above -- you know the answer:

When you are out of debt completely, able to live on a given budget, aren't victim to compensation that rises and falls every month, aren't in danger of losing your house, are able to put together a reasonable college savings plan, and are living within your means, you become "safe". You need to be the master of bills, budgets, savings, etc.

Get a financial advisor or accountant to help, and apply yourself to figuring out how to make this work. W just cracked the door open for you, don't kick it open the rest of the way and sweep her away -- give her a little bit, make her want more.

Accuray