So since the last 5 years our relationship has lost almost all intamacy. She would "do things" for me and I would in return rub her back or her feet or whatever.
This is jumping out at me. Maybe you talked about this with her in more detail. I hope so. What it sounds like though is that you (and some guys responding to you on here) are assuming that because intercourse is painful, W has no sexual needs or desires. That's a big assumption.
You mention that she would "do things" to meet your sexual needs and you don't mention that you did anything to meet her sexual needs. Ouch. That's not something a doctor can fix, guys.
