Thread #8 - It's time.

[Navyguy]

Time for a new thread. The last few weeks have been pretty brutal. A potential OM, drinking, and too many "talks" to count.

W and I had our MC session today. The C seems like a good fit. She was very blunt and to the point. She interviewed W first, then me, then talked to both of us.

From what I gathered, W told C that she's done (no surprise there). Surprisingly, W also talked about her drinking and some of her childhood issues.

My talk with C was pretty tough. I told her the story of how W and I met, then we got right into where we are today an what the unresolved issues are that I think W and I have. They are: her refusal to forgive my past slip-ups, W treating me like S***, and me "expecting" things of W. Those are most of what we argue about these days.

Then C brought us both into the room and told us what she had gathered:

- My actions in the past really hurt W.
- W and I both feel like we are not being listened to by one another.
- W is DONE. I am scared, W is scared.
- W has no respect for me or our M. Told W that what she's been doing this entire time is BS, and that I don't deserve it.
- W can't say she's done, and yet stay in the same house as me. That is also BS.
- I am not much more than a paycheck to W...and for her to allow that to continue is extremely disrespectful.
- W and I are both good people.
- C did not beat W up on her drinking today, but she definitely is aware of the problem.
- W and I can successfully build a R that will benefit our kids. One that has and will teach them mutual respect and caring. But not when we are in the same house.
- C does not want to try to fix our marriage. She thinks it is pointless to try given W's position.
- C would like to help us achieve the separation we need and help us talk through the logistics of it. She also wants to help us with our unresolved issues. She also said we're welcome to go get a 2nd opinion on this. I don't think I need one, because she didn't say a single thing that I haven't been told dozens of times on here.
- C left the door open for working on the M, but W would have to choose to do so. But, she said its either time to "try to fish this turd out or flush it down". Like I said, she was blunt.


W and I talked briefly afterwards. We both appreciated the C's bluntness, and I think we both knew she was right on almost all counts. W then asked for some time to process things before we discuss our next steps. She is in Ohio for the next 5 days, so that should give her plenty of time to process.

I feel ok about the session. I am still very sad about my M being done and it was hard to hear the C come to that conclusion so quickly. But, I also have a small sense of relief, as I think we took the first real step toward resolving this sitch today...for better or worse.