My Story--long

[chatterbug]

Joey. Pretending to have an affair was just plain wrong.

When you said to her that you needed sex. That was right.

But you should have expanded on it.

You should have explained to her how love making is for a man. It is how you know that you are loved by your woman. That you need the physical openness and being vulnerable. That you need to feel attracted to by your woman. That it is important in the marriage. That you are attracted to your wife and desire her. That not having sex was destroying your self esteem and causing issues in the marriage.

Then this could have lead to the painful feelings down there.

And could have lead to a conversation on going to the doctor to find out what is wrong and to get it fixed. Fully supporting her and leading in an issue that is your problem.

If she decided that there was to be zero sex from here on out.

You could have explained to her that she has no right to make a unilateral decision like that which affects the both of you. That you explained your thoughts on the situation and that it is up to her to work on her issues with sex.

Then if she said no. Then you had the choice. To live in a sexless marriage or to end this relationship and then move on to one that is more appropriate for you.

You are right to express your thoughts.

So now your in a tight spot.

You have to finish your schooling.

You wish to work on the marriage.

So back off.

Concentrate on your schooling. No melty man. No I love you's. No taking crap behavior from her. You be honest and a gentleman.

You sit her down.

You say to her.

"Wife. You and I decided that I would be going back to school and then you would be going back to school. That we would support each other through this. For us to divorce now would be a financial hard ship on the both of us. For I will seek alimony and custody of our child through legal means.

I am willing to repair our marriage. For the both of us to put in the work and build a better marriage. I am 100% committed to this path. Through communication and hard work.

But if you are not then you have the choice to leave the house. But I will remain here with our child. "


That is leading.

Your goal should be to work towards rebuilding yourself to a point where you would be comfortable saying this.

Because you do not want to live in the limbo.

This is early for this to be written. But your main goal is control and work on yourself.

She can work on her issues.

You need to start to lead.