A lot of things I have said have been out of hurt & anger. I know no one has "won". It is not a competition. I have been placing a lot of blame on the whole sitch on W. I think because I only know what I feel. She has put up a wall. I know she has her reasons to do that. So all I see is her actions. And in turn all I can do is go by that. That is why I need to concentrate on myself. She told me she saw changes the first month. And without me asking. I kept at it. Our arguements have been more frequent because of my jealousy of OM. I try to ignore it but when the person you love is turning to someone else, it hurts. My W has said she wanted a divorce when this first happened. But she never filed, moved out or even got her own bank account. So I kept hope. We went on a family vacation and I thought things were turning around. But she said we should see less of each other. I said ok. Besides, I couldn't do anything about it. That is when she met OM. And that is when I started really hurting and my anger out. All of this is really hard. I am still not giving up. All of your words and advice are helping. Sometimes I feel I work to hard on all of this. So tired…
