Just breathe through these episodes. Your H is out of control emotionally and he's projecting. MLCers have to have someone to blame what they're doing on. He's trying to justify what he's done. In their confusion and anger they blame it on the person that was closest to them, the spouse.
As hard as this is, you must detach. Have the boys said anything to your H about how they feel? I did not tell my children how to feel or what to say to their Dad and there were times he had some pretty harsh truth darts from them. He still gets some here and there. I let the children handle their R with their father. I occasionally come in and clean up the pieces when needed.
MLCers tell themselves the children will be fine with what they've done because they don't want to believe they could cause any harm. So, in essence, if the children have a problem with it, it must be the LBS poisoning their minds.
GM, you know the truth, and so do your children. It really doesn't matter what your H says. Just keep letting it go because there is no way to really enforce a boundary with this. Your H's anger will eventually burn itself out just like when a toddler throws a tantrum because they didn't get their way.
Letting it set you back is a choice that you make. Make a different one. One that allows you to keep moving forward right through it. It's the only way to get to the other side.
