From everything that I am reading in your posts, all of your triggers have a common denominator. Interacting with your H.
The fact that we are even discussing triggers tells me that you are far from detached.
You said in your post that you need to make a decision on how to proceed with your interactions with your H.
Some questions for you to ponder:
Are you able to grow on a personal level with things as they currently are or do you feel stuck?
Do you feel like your sitch wears you down emotionally in its current state?
Are you afraid if you change the dynamics of your sitch, that it will push your H further away?
You said that you have to see him as a casual friend....
Do you drive a casual friend's vehicle?
Would you consider washing a casual friend's clothes?
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
