^^^^^ YES!!!!!!! This was a hard 2x4 someone gave me but it's true he's not "with" you. Someone told me this and it stopped all my me vs her in my head.
Assume the worst. Assume he's spending every single night with her. There it's done no more need to snoop or panic or worry just assume the worst and move on.
It feels to me as if you are waiting for him to say she's out of his life, and then you two will get back together. It also feels like you still have a lot of hurt about the affair and that he's continuing ti see her. The more pressure you put on him the more she might feel like "the fun option" my DB coach said make it easy to come home. and if you limit his time with the kids because you're still hurt then it make you look like the bad guy.
She means nothing. You are probably making a bigger deal in your head then what's going on. The more you think about her or bring her up to H the more power you give her in your life and your R with H.
How would your thoughts and actions change if you stopped thinking of H as your H and instead as your best friend? Or your co parent?
Could you decide to forget about reconciling for the time being and just concentrate on enjoying spending time with him?
