Needing some guidance... 5

[jks]

2thepoint... how do I set him free without divorcing him? OW's lease is up in Sept and I have a feeling that him and OW will be looking for a place together at that point. He's still living with his parents and I'm sure he's sick of it. How do I continue to still be married to a man that will be living with his GF? I just feel like I lose more and more self respect as I let him continue. Like, hey, I'm still here just in case you change your mind or just in case things don't work out for you two... but go right ahead and continue on!!!

I've been thinking about what 25 had said about H being put through a lot of pain while living with me but I honestly don't think that he EVER experienced pain to this extent even ONCE throughout our M. This pain is TORTURE!! It is the kind of thing that makes you want to end your life because it is so hard to know that you have to move forward with it forever in your life.

Hence the reason I said I wanted to move away. And it is almost worth leaving my children in order to stop feeling this way and to be able to move forward without constant reminders that he's still here and him and OW are doing just great!! I just want to cut myself out of the equation. Am I going around and around in a vicious cycle? I feel like I had posts like this just last week.

I HATE THAT I WENT TO THAT THERAPY SESSION TODAY!! I was feeling so much better until that session.