Relationship goal #1: “h asks me to join him and s when they are together to do some little activity”
Achievement: “he hasn't done that literally yet. don't know if it counts that he called and repeated several times - "just letting you know we are going to be at the cracker show if you want to come"
it felt as if he wanted me to come down there, but couldn't ask directly.”
From sg: I’m not sure why you are not counting that. It doesn’t have to sound like a date. It’s a BABY STEP. Now, the important part: what have you done recently that you think helped to create the atmosphere that he could allow you to go? Please be sure to answer this question.

Goal # 2: “when we talk, that i shut up more and more, and really learn to LISTEN better”

Achievement: i think i'm getting better at this. i know i sound confident here - but when we do talk, i do get nervous and edgy and find myself focusing on those feelings and trying to hide them, and then don't always pay attention to what he's saying in some ways. will keep working on that
From sg: GREAT! How will you know that what you are doing here is important TO HIM? What will he DO differently? How will he respond so that you know you did well?


Goal #3: “h stops feeling and implying that i am helpless and need his help until i get back on my feet (his words)”

Achievement: “i think i achieved this goal - in a phone call last weekend - while he was going ballistic about what someone else was doing to me - he blurted out. "what's wrong with them? can't they see you're this confident amazing woman, who's got her [censored] together". the issue was that this other person had targeted me assuming that because of my sitch i was vulnerable. i had to discuss it with h, because s was involved and we needed to make a decision together”

From sg: This makes you a DB SUCCESS. It might not be the whole ball of wax, but you achieved a small goal, and from these goals, you achieve the big goals. NOW:
A: What actions of yours helped you achieve this goal (be sure to answer this question)?
B: How do you keep doing more of y

sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001