In home separation? Off / On? Still WAW? Dunno

[breakdownbill]

Hi Brit

Thanks for your post

I think it's what she's looking for (in bold below)..

God knows that's how I felt. I think if she may really want you to put your foot down. I did a lot of crazy stuff because I was hoping to get some sort of reaction out of him and he'd given up in terms of saying anything.

It's like when I was gonna move out not long after the bomb & I ran the riot act at her & told her how I felt about her. She backed down & and things were good for about a week or two.

I know when I'm assertive & stand up for myself she likes it & I have been getting better on that front.

A DB coach would be a great help but I really can't afford it.

But I will ask what is it that you really want? And what will get you closer to that goal?

Great question Brit, I want to be in a healthy relationship again. I want to be able to trust my partner, I want a relationship where we make decisions together. I want to be respected, desired, loved and appreciated.

Now I guess it's a lot to want from a relationship, I'd love to have that with my W again, but that's not realistic.

If we did piece things back together, and I didn't have these things would I just be settling?

I just think enough time has passed in this stalemate now & that I'll need to play my hand soon & I'm edging towards an ultimatum with my W - which i'd be prepared to go all the way with.