I'm a new person

[LITB]

This is my take FWIW. I see one of your triggers is set off when you spend time with your H or when you have to think about spending time with him.

The reason I asked if OW is still in the picture, is because it makes it difficult to gauge any progress towards reconciliation. Therefore, it might be a good time to set some boundaries on spending time with him. It will help you detach and it will help protect you emotionally.

For me, once it was confirmed OM was in the picture, I drew the line. I decided that I wasn’t going to be anyone’s 2nd choice. No more lunches, dinners or family outings together.

I felt it gave our children the wrong impression. It also allowed me to take my focus off of her and to live my own life. I was no longer gauging progress. As far as I was concerned, I was a single father.

I know that goes against the advice I posted about making the most of your opportunity of interacting as a family. However your last few post make me think that it puts you in a tailspin when you interact with him.

Just food for thought.