Lose the friend, mac - on all levels. do NOT commiserate with her and do not have her reading your palm etc. also don't let her hug/kiss you.
Friend IS lost. She just managed to wangle her way back into my W!!!!
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there's something there that is screwy - and what i'm hearing is that you're hoping she'll convince your wife to change her mind. lose that thought!
Screwy is exactly the correct word. I'm not and never have hoped that anyone else would persuade my W to "return".
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i would make a point not to be anywhere around that friend. you have to accept what the wife is doing . you are playing too many games right now. you're not detached enough to be playing games.
I'm certainly not going to avoid the friend but I'm going to make it crystal clear to her that I have her figured out. Short to the point. I'm actually becoming more detached by the day. Strange but true.
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don't you think it's time to drop the rope and start focusing on yourself.
Done and done.
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when your posts here are less about your wife and friend and more about your own introspection and growth, then you know you are on the right track
I'm sure you'll find exactly that in this reply.
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it's time for a 2x 4 - how about a tad bit of humility and a good hard look in the mirror. and forget the wife and friend while you're doing it. i'm only writing this because i want to see you get on the track you're supposed to be on. the flippancy is back, and i know that flippancy hides hurt - lot's of hurt behind it. time to take that mask off and start your own healing - and this is the place where you can come to help you do it.
Humility - how can I reply to your post and be humble at the same time? Just being honest zig. And the mirror? Now that's something I've been doing for three weeks. The reflection is getting deeper! My apologies if some (all?) of my posts can be construed as being flippant. They're certainly not meant to be. I can recognize the diametric opposites between "going off my head" and trying to put a normal face on things. I'm nowhere near as bad, in real life, as these posts suggest - these are the only ways of letting off steam.
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as for that friend - if she has the wife's ear right now - STAY AWAY!!
Don't need to zig. The W has stayed out of HER way since Friday (and counting - actually I'm not)
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practice your DB skills on her - act as if you are fine , happy etc etc. do NOT talk to her about your feelings or this site etc - that is a snake in the grass if ever i felt one.
Thanks for you advice zig. Done and done.
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also - if you can recognize the roller coaster - what are you still doing on it????
It's the W that's on one.
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also - earlier you were GAL'ing - going out to do your stuff. why are you hanging out with wife and friend?
Quite a problem - small "village" in the suburbs. I am managing to see friends. And I am managing to visit the watering hole when the "two" aren't there.
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i do hope you are doing well - mac - and even though i'm not posting much, i've been following along
Thanks zig. I'm actually feeling fine(ish) but getting there. Sorry you have to follow my ups and downs. I'll endeavor to make the ups more often.
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stay vigilant - old habits die hard - and when i don't post much here - after all these months i've started to recognize that that's when i am not on the right track
i don't know if what you are writing here is only part of the picture and you're just not mentioning the other good stuff you are doing for yourself - so my response is based on what i read.
Got my finger firmly on the pulse. When you do post it's highly appreciated!
These posts as said, are a snapshot and shouldn't be viewed as everything that's happening in my, and my W's life. I'd love to share one last thing which is an eye opener - nothing "rude" but so surprising that my W used to do and is doing again!
