Yes, I look at the past. Not to find blame but to see if things have changed. I've done a personal inventory on what I've been doing. The roles may seemed to have reversed, but I make sure our D is take care of.
This may sound crazy, but my sitch is similar to my in-laws. Did my W somehow manage to manipulate our R so its like her parents? No love in their R and dad does as he pleases. My MIL does what he tells her to do.
It looks our R is mirroring their R except I feel my W doesn't have any respect for me.
Long time posting I thing her MLC may be at an end. What turned out was a failed marriage
No D but that's all I have been thinking of. We do as we please and I think it's causing more harm than good. I still love her but I don't know why. Too bad I will be stuck in limbo if I choose to stay. My daughter won't be 18 for a few more years
Fixer, I'm very sorry that things are still the way they are for you and your wife. Many times the mlcer will act out the life the witnessed when they lived at home, i.e., the inlaws' marriage as you so mentioned.
What are you doing to keep busy? Are you taking care of yourself?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm keep myself busy. The constant thinking of my sitch is stressful. If one thing I can pass onto LBS who are hanging in Limbo. DON"T keep thinking about your situation or where it's going. This will slowly eat away at you and cause more stress than you will ever need in your life.
Your daughter aside; is being in a broken marriage going to make you a broken man?
Is it over, will it never get better? Have you given it your all?
Failure is only failure if you wear it like a badge for the rest of your life, like some sort of Albatross around your neck.
If a person has given their best effort, if they have done their damndest? They shouldn't be a slave to the failure of others.
Fixer, man, you said it right here...your wife, you marrige...looks like her parents marriage...what do you think your daughter is going to use as an example when she gets married?
If you have done your best, that is all you can do, swim for shore.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I would like to know why I stay. It does not make sense to me. My daughter knows how I feel about our stitch - she's not stupid.
I'm not sure when her MLC faded away or if it's entirely gone. One day she started to care and the alien was gone. I lived with her MLC for so long I got use to it. Now that she's awake I think there's hope. Unfortately, she holds all the cards on where our R could go. All I can do is control what I do. Tonight I will go to the movies alone to see the midnight showing of the new Batman movie. Then after that I don't know what time I'll be home. I'll find something else to do.
That's plain ridiculous. It's like after 9-11 how everyone was afraid to fly.
There was one crazy person in a movie theater who shot alot of people. A very crazy person. Don't let that deter you away from doing something you like to do.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I rocked the boat the last time you suggested it That tactic got her to sleep less on the couch less often. I have my fun but it takes two to make an R work. I want more than she's willing to give. I told her I want a date night at least once a month. If this works I'll work on other ideas. My wife prefers to do things with her friends so if she commits to a date night then it's a big step for her.
