It's been almost 3 years since BD, and I still feel the way you describe every once in a while. It was more prevalent early on, but the episodes don't last as long anymore.
I have read it takes one month for every year you were married to finally start to feel whole again and that starts from the time the D is final.
You're expecting way too much of yourself as far as how fast your healing goes. I suspect you tried to rush it and that's why you involved yourself with other people. I'm glad you realized how much potential there is to hurt others by being in relationships that you're not ready for.
There really are blessings in you life to be thankful for everyday. Going through this fire really does strengthen you. I definitely see that coming through in your posts. Keep working on yourself Tad. Your perseverance makes you a winner.
