Tad, It takes time to recover from what you've been through. The contact that you have w/your xw sends you into a tail spin and you have got to find a way to toughen your skin. Unfortunately, she's going to be around a long time because of the children.
I think you are too hard on yourself. You are expecting to turn your life around in a matter of months. Tad, it doesn't happen over night. You are going through the pain now and growing from it. You are not self-medicating like the mlcer is right now. That's good.
Take each day as it comes and find at least one thing to smile about. BTW, you are not a loser! Tad, you will get through this.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
