Swimming with certain Turtles

[labug]

One can try to differentiate between marital boundaries and personal boundaries. In the end, they're really one in the same to the WAS. They carry no weight for the WAS. Maybe, just maybe they might work, as the LBS stands like a rock with boundary in hand. Which then follows... is that a hill the LBS is prepared to die on?

I think I see this differently. My boundaries are not about changing behavior so much as protecting me, keeping me from being injured. The person with whom I'm setting the boundary can change their behavior or not, completely up to them. Seeing no change would be a negative indicator of the health of that R, I would think.

I also see ultimatums and the ultimate boundary. Boundaries-I feel x when you do y, so when you do y I will leave the room, end the conversation, w/e.

Ultimatum-If you do x, I'm finished.

Maybe putting too fine a point on it, but it's the way I think of it in my mind.

I think if in Piecing, things have to be approached cautiously to see just where things fall. Time has to be given to see if the changed behaviors change the R. But I think that if real boundaries are crossed that has to be addressed.