And you wouldn't have had to shake him, he'd arouse enough to breath. Could also explain his moodiness and depression.
so at the very beginning - 2 ultimatums from h. at the time i didn't even hear them as that - just thought he was stating his feelings. of course over the years there were a lot of other ones but i took these two very seriously, for some reason - they sort of scared me i guess.
1. if you ever have an affair i'll throw you out without a moment's hesitation 2. if we ever sleep in separate bedrooms that's the end of our marriage.
he did both first!
i guess the snoring conversation brought this up for me - must be time to deal with it.
there were always these ultimatums - and i took them seriously. they freaked me out
even after BD - 'if you push me now, i'm never coming back, but if you let me be....'
it's a power play of some kind when one gives an ultimatum like that, isn't it? at least that's how i felt.
one of the weird ones was - don't ever pay for a haircut, or else...
i never broke any of those "rules", but mil broke that one about 3 or 4 years ago taking s to the hairdresser (h always cut our hair) - still goes on about it and still makes comments to me and s !!
i think deep down - and not all that deep down i really resented it - that someone else was going to decide who cut my hair. i gave in on those - there was no reasoning with him - but i think my resentment came out in other areas (the ones he didn't make ultimatums with)
hmmm - interesting - never saw how that worked.
so not so simple - snoring h = moving to other room!!
how are you labug - are you having a good weekend?
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
